Beyond the Shadow of War Read online

  I told myself not to write dreary or whining letters, and yet here I’ve started off with a nightmare. Some things never change, I suppose.

  Why didn’t you wake me the morning you left? I can’t believe I didn’t hear you leave. I admit it was difficult‌—‌all those false alarms with so many rain delays and all those goodbyes. If I know you as well as I think I do, you probably decided to let me sleep, assuming you’d be back in a couple of hours like all the other mornings. I know we said our goodbyes the night before, but I should have seen you off. When I finally awoke and realized you were gone, I missed you so much I could hardly breathe. I miss you still.

  Sophie has been wonderful. She’s kept me busy teaching me how to cook everything on the pub’s menu. She’s very patient and always makes me laugh, even when I make a mess of things. The British are quite fussy about their tea, so she’s trying to teach me how to make a proper “cuppa.” Yesterday we made an English pudding like the one we had on our honeymoon. Do you remember? I shall try to make it for you if we ever have a home of our own. Oh Danny, how I long for that day!

  I’ve learned how to pull a pint without so much foam sloshing over and how to take orders from customers and serve them. On the first day I spilled an entire pint of ale on a poor fellow who was just passing through the village. It landed in his lap and made such a mess, it looked as though he’d wet himself! He was most kind, though I was terribly embarrassed, not knowing quite how to help without making a bigger mess of it and further humiliating myself. Sophie and Patrick couldn’t stop laughing.

  It’s so different here, with so many of you Americans gone. Almost eerie. Before you left, remember all the hustle and bustle on base and around the village? All of you excited about the war being over and anxious to go home? When the last of the Forts took off, and not a single one could be spotted in the distance, we were overwhelmed by silence. It felt as though you could cut right through it, the absolute hush that fell over us.

  There are still ground crews here, and they pile into the pub each evening, drinking to their hearts’ delight. Only a few faces are familiar. Do you remember that odd fellow named Cosmos who stopped us on the street right after our wedding? How he jumped off his bicycle and let it crash to the ground while he gave you and Charlie a salute? He comes in every night and always asks about you. Charlie just rolls his eyes when he sees him coming, but I think he’s rather funny. Did you know he plays the fiddle?

  It’s late and I must get some sleep. Every night I find myself fingering the charms on the bracelet you gave me, especially the airplane. Silly, perhaps, but they’re such perfect reminders of you‌—‌of us‌—‌and the love we share. I can never thank you enough for such a thoughtful gift, Danny.

  I miss you most of all late at night, here in our room. I keep wishing you’d slip through the door, fresh from your shower, and climb in bed to keep me warm. I never thought it possible that I could miss you so much that my heart literally aches. I know your mother is good about praying. Please tell her to pray that I'll soon come to you in Chicago, America.

  With all my love,

  Anya

  “Anya, come walk with me,” Sophie said as she looped the apron over her head. “I need a bit of fresh air.”

  Anya untied her apron and hung it with Sophie’s on the peg by the back door. “I never thought I’d want to take walks again after so many years wearing out the soles of my shoes back home, but I do like the fresh air.”

  Sophie stretched her arms over her head as they headed down the path. “It helps me think, getting out and walking a while. And I don’t mind telling you, sometimes I just need a break from the kitchen. Gets a bit confining at times, don’t you think?”

  Anya shrugged, shoving her hands in the pockets of her trousers. “Sometimes, but I really enjoy the work. Learning to cook and bake, helping you and Patrick with this and that. It’s been nice. Really nice.”

  Sophie hooked her arm through Anya’s. “That’s because it keeps you busy so you’re not pining away for your flyboy in America.”

  Anya smiled. “Well, yes. I suppose that’s true.”

  “I asked Charlie this morning if he’d stopped by Major Samford’s office. Of course, I ask him every morning, and every morning he says the same thing. ‘Yes I stopped by, and no there’s no news yet.’”

  “I’m trying so hard not to think about it. I keep telling myself if I don’t think about it, that’s when I’ll hear something. Sounds a bit daft, doesn’t it?”

  Sophie smiled. “Are you kidding? I’d be losing my mind if Charlie had flown home without me. I think you’re handling it fabulously.” She tugged on Anya’s arm. “Let’s go this way today.”

  They headed down a different road in the direction of Parham. The sky was surprisingly clear and blue, a welcome break from the bleak gray skies that so often blanketed the area. Anya breathed in the scent of hay and earth and wildflowers.

  “When I was a girl I used to ride my bicycle down these back lanes,” Sophie said. “I’ve always loved living out in the country. Whenever I go to London, I enjoy being there for one or two hours, then all I want to do is come home. I suppose it’s in my blood, the love for this land.”

  “Did Charlie ever ask you to consider moving back to the States with him?”

  “We talked about it when he first proposed. To be honest, I was scared to death he’d insist on living in America. I couldn’t imagine leaving Da, but my Charlie is quite perceptive. He must have seen it in my eyes or something. And since he has no family to speak of back in America, he said he’d be happy to live anywhere on earth as long as I was beside him.” Sophie giggled. “I couldn’t believe it, Anya. I was so stunned, I just stared at him. Couldn’t think of a single word to say, so I just stared at those great big baby blue eyes of his. To me, that was confirmation that Charlie was the one. Right there, right then. I’d have married him that very moment if the vicar happened to stroll by.”

  “It’s almost like a love story out of a novel.”

  “I know, isn’t it? Of course, it’s nothing compared to you and‌—‌”

  A horn blared behind them. “Hey, get out of the way, will ya?”

  “Charlie Janssen, you scared us to death!” Sophie cried, jumping out of the Jeep’s path just in time. “You stop doing that, do you hear me?”

  He pulled up so close to the roadside, he simply reached out and tugged on her hand. “C’mere, Sophie girl, and give me a kiss.”

  “Not so fast. I’ve got to catch my breath again.” Sophie fanned herself, pushing her hair out of her face.

  “No? Well then, how about you, Anya? Got a kiss for your husband’s best friend?”

  Anya gave him a smirk. “I think not, Lieutenant. Don’t you ever work? Or do you spend all your days just driving around these old roads looking for girls to kiss?”

  “He’d better not!” Sophie entwined her fingers with his. “What are you up to now?”

  “Actually, I have something to show you both. Climb in.”

  They paused for a second then climbed into the boxy vehicle “Show us what?”

  “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

  Anya pushed her hair out of her face as Charlie ground the gears and shifted the Jeep in motion. “Any news from the base, Charlie?”

  He eyed her through the rearview mirror. “Sorry to say, but no. Samford was out of his office when I stopped by this morning. Any word from Danny?”

  “No, not today. I put a letter in the post to him this morning. I can’t believe how long it takes for our letters to get where they’re going. You’d think with the war over, the postal service would be faster.”

  “Not the way I hear it,” he said over his shoulder. “I think it’ll be a good six months or more before things like that get back to normal. Much longer to rebuild the country, of course. Which brings me to this.”

  He pulled off the road and down a narrow lane. One more quick turn and they parked in a small gravel lot. Through a thick
stand of trees, Anya could make out the skeletal remains of a building.

  As they climbed out of the Jeep, Sophie asked, “Why have you brought us to the chapel? What’s this about?”

  “Right this way, ladies,” he said, passing through an old wooden lynchgate.

  Once they cleared the gate and trees, the haunting skeletal remains of a bombed-out chapel came into full view. Crooked gravestones leaned here and there in the surrounding grounds, like so many ancient sentries standing guard.

  “Anya, you probably don’t know about the crash that took out this chapel,” Charlie said.

  “I think Danny may have mentioned it. What exactly happened?”

  “It was 27 December of last year, early on a bitter cold morning. The conditions for flying that morning were dismal at best. We were blanketed with a freezing fog so thick, those manning the control tower couldn’t even see the Forts taking off. Usually they ground planes when visibility is that poor, but the higher-ups sent them off anyway. The pilots had to fly on instruments since they were literally flying blind. Only seconds after take-off, Al Banning’s plane crashed here. Back at the base, we could feel the earth trembling when it exploded.”

  “I remember,” Sophie said with a shiver, folding her arms across her chest. “I woke up when the explosion shook my bed.”

  “When a Fort takes off on a bombing mission, it’s packed to the gills with bombs and extra fuel tanks.” Charlie shook his head. “Needless to say, none of the crew survived the crash. And as you can see, it wiped out the chapel and all those houses over there.”

  Anya shook her head. “How tragic.”

  “But I still don’t understand why you brought us here?” Sophie asked again as they neared what would have been the main entrance to the chapel.

  Charlie stuck a toothpick in his mouth. “Because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking here lately.”

  “Here?” Sophie asked.

  He nodded, picking up a brick from the rubble. “I happened by here about a week ago, and for some reason I was just drawn to it. Almost like a magnet was pulling at me, you know? So I started looking around at all this damage, and thinking about that morning and those guys who lost their lives here in the blink of any eye …” Charlie paused for a moment, fiddling with the toothpick, then cleared his throat. “And all of a sudden I felt a strong sense of purpose. Almost like a calling, if that makes any sense. And I knew immediately what I was supposed to do.”

  “I still don’t understand, darling. What are you talking about?”

  “I’m going to help rebuild. I don’t know if the townsfolk plan to rebuild the church, but it doesn’t matter. I think I’m supposed to help rebuild whatever’s been damaged by the war. Here in Parham and Framlingham, the rest of Suffolk and anywhere else that needs help. That’s what I want to do. That’s what I feel called to do.”

  “How will you go about that?” Anya asked, looking around at the massive damage to the ancient church.

  “Anya, you probably don’t know, but just before Pearl Harbor was bombed, I graduated with a degree in architectural design from Washington University in St. Louis. I’d always planned to build skyscrapers in some major metropolitan area. Then we went to war, and I enlisted and learned to fly. Got assigned to the 390th here.” He draped his arm over Sophie’s shoulder. “Luckiest day of my life, by the way, ending up here in Sophie’s backyard.”

  He leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Married my girl and decided to stay here in England and make this my home. And like I said, about a week ago I found myself here on this sacred ground, and I just knew. This is what I’m supposed to do with my life now.”

  “I think it’s a wonderful idea, Charlie,” Anya said.

  “I do too, love,” Sophie added quietly, her expression warmed with admiration. “I think it’s absolutely wonderful.”

  Charlie’s toothpick moved to the other side of his mouth. “Seems like the least I can do, the way I see it. After all, we came flying in here, a bunch of boisterous free-spirited Yanks with our noisy planes and machinery, and basically moved right in on this land and made ourselves at home. Now, with the 390th ripping up stakes and heading home, seems to me folks around here deserve some help. And since I know how to design and build things, it just makes sense for me to lend a hand.”

  “How will you start?” Sophie asked, wandering along what was once the main aisle of the church. “You can’t just start sweeping up and plastering bricks, can you?”

  “No, I can’t. But I’ve talked to a few people, discussed it with one of the engineers on base, and it looks like I’ll be playing the role of a liaison, salvaging what we can from the base to use in the rebuilding of the entire county. Working with local officials and those from other American and RAF bases to help put England back on her feet. Pretty clever, huh?”

  “Sweetheart, you’re brilliant.” Sophie stood on her tiptoes and planted a noisy kiss on his cheek. “But why didn’t you tell me? I’m excited for you!”

  “Excited for us,” he countered. “I see this as a team effort.” He turned to Anya. “Only wish I could have talked Danny into staying on with me. Though, last time we talked about the future, he seemed rather determined to finish college back in the States and start teaching.”

  “History, he tells me,” Anya said. “He wants to make sure the future generations don’t ever forget what happened these past few years.”

  “Good for him,” Sophie said. “He’ll be a fabulous teacher.”

  “Yes, I believe he will.”

  “In the meantime, there’s work to be done, so off we go.” Charlie herded them back toward the Jeep with an arm over both their shoulders.

  As they climbed back into the vehicle, Anya glanced back through the trees toward what was left of the old church. She swallowed against the lump in her throat, wondering when the scars of war would ever stop twisting her heart. Or if they ever would.

  15

  12 July 1945

  Chicago, Illinois

  Danny joined his mother on the back porch where she was snapping green beans. Sophie followed at his heels, slipping out the screen door before it slapped shut. “Hey, Mom. Mind some company?”

  “I’d love some, Danny. Would you like some lemonade?”

  “No, I’m good.” He dropped into the rocker next to hers and patted his stomach. “I’m still stuffed from lunch. I bet I’ve gained ten pounds since I’ve been home.”

  “I hope so. I never saw you so thin as the day we picked you up in Rockford. Just look how your shirt hangs on you.” She “tsked” a couple of times for his benefit. “Guess I need to put an extra layer of icing on that carrot cake I made for dinner.”

  “You do that. You know I’m a sucker for your carrot cake, Mom. Or any other cake, for that matter.”

  She smiled, rocking slowly beside him, snapping away. “It’s so good to have you home, son. Are you getting enough rest?”

  Sophie sat at his feet, her tail swishing across the porch, her eyes locked on Danny’s every move. “I would if it weren’t for Sophie. She never used to bother me when I slept. Now she’s spooning me all night. Which means I feel every movement when she’s dog-paddling in her sleep or when she sits up for a good scratch.”

  She chuckled. “Oh, she’s just letting you know how much she missed you. Your father would never let her sleep in our bed, of course. In fact, back when you left for college, he closed our door so she couldn’t disturb us. But that didn’t go over too well with Sophie, so she would lie down just outside our door and stick her paws under it, making such a racket on the hardwood floor.”

  “I bet Dad loved that,” he teased. Sophie slowly moved in, then sat on her haunches, resting a paw on Danny’s knee. He patted her head and scratched under her chin sending her back paw into a frenzy tapping against the floor.

  “Oh, he tried everything. Even locked her in the kitchen, but she just howled and howled. So loud, I thought she’d wake the neighbors. He finally gave up and let her in our room
, but not on the bed. Eventually, he made that bed for her to curl up in beside ours. She seemed to like that, and that’s where she’s slept until you came home.”

  “I should probably move the bed to my room and give it a try.” He paused for a moment, scratching Sophie behind the ears. “Then again, dumb as it sounds, I’d probably miss having her up on the bed with me. But I’ve gotta tell you, not half as much as I miss having Anya sleeping beside me.” He slid his eyes over at his mother and waggled his brows.

  “Now, Danny,” she scolded with a chuckle. “No need to tell me such things. A mother doesn’t need to know everything that goes on in her son’s life, you know.”

  He laughed at the rosy glow coloring her cheeks. “I’m just teasing.” He gave Sophie a final pat on the head then leaned back and rocked his chair. “I sure miss her, Mom. She’s all I can think about, even though I know I need to start making some decisions now that the war’s over. But to be honest, all I really want to do is fly back to England and bring her home.”

  “I know, honey, but just give it a little more time. I’m sure those in charge want all those war brides sent over here as much as you do. While I was doing the dishes after lunch, I heard on the radio there are more than 70,000 war brides needing passage to America from Great Britain, and many of them pregnant or with small children. I’m afraid the news was rather dire because of all the paperwork to sort it all out.”

  Danny blew a long cascading whistle. “How hard can it be? They make a list, tell the ladies when to be at the dock, they put them on the ship, and off they go.”

  “Yes, but multiply that by tens of thousands, and you can see how difficult it must be.”

  “I guess. I just know Anya and how impatient she can be.”